Fixations, addictions, compulsions, & obsessions
glue dripping out of the top of a bottle
A fixation in psychoanalysis is the arrest of the libido at a young age causing an obsessive attachment. But the dictionary also calls it the act of making something stable.
An addiction is a dependence, a weakness to, a craving for, or a habit. But in psychology, it is bad.
A compulsion is an urge to act a way against one’s conscious wishes. But what if your unconscious mind is right and you’re ruining your life operating in fear?
An obsession is merely something that preoccupies or intrudes into a person’s mind. But what if it is meant to be there?
The point is, there are many times in healing when we think we are making the right choice and we just aren’t. All of these things are dependent on your internal state and the level of control you are currently able to wield. Psychology props up control and discipline and compliance but your subconscious wants what it wants for a reason. It wants to be soothed, loved, needed, wanted, held, excited, overjoyed, and safe. It will do whatever it takes to make that happen, including doing what you view as a risk. And if you don’t let it, and only ever try to dominate it, then you will lose out on this beautiful journey called life, in pursuit of nothing you really actually want.
a hand holding a copper compass in front of a field of golden grain
So how do you know what you really want and need?
A man fixes his eye on beauty, he feels compelled to better himself for it. He surrenders himself to its ebb and flow. Is he fixated? Lost in compulsion? Fell to addiction? Obsessed and a threat? Or has he found the goddess of his prow, her hand outstretched but frozen in time, waiting for him to realize what is his if he would just be divine?
Time cells in the hippocampus allow us to see things that don't make sense. Unique concept cells in the brain that interact with time cells have recently been discovered by the same people making breakthroughs in time cells. Right now there is a gap in the literature, but there is an incredibly exciting fact I know from elsewhere that takes this concept from the grounded into the realm of the magical, that we all know exists.
As you approach Psi research, one of the first things people like to bring up is that cells in the brain react to strong stimuli before it happens. Before you can know it happened, unless.... Unless these researchers are just bumping up on the bounds of what they have experienced and knows exists, but will not state it in public, because they are trained and disciplined scientists. But they know you can experience ghosts of things before they happen and that sensation can be very disturbing if you don’t have a good grasp on your interoception and gut biome.
Increased distress is how you get entropy of the brain. But here’s the thing, that’s not bad. What you do have to keep in mind though is that we are social creatures so connection is the best medicine for entropy when it becomes intolerable. but until then entropy is your friend. Without entropy, you would not be able to adapt and your mind would fall to disease and decay. But if you are in good order, you can feel your future coming. And better yet, if you can align your subconscious and your ego and get your reticular activating system online, you just might get everything you want.
muddy dirt road with trees around
Any experienced healer knows that as a person wades out into the murky waters to challenge themselves to grow and build new muscles, as you begin to struggle, it becomes harder to dig new paths out. You flail in your old behaviors, you have to fight with every cell of your body to push back, flooding yourself with chemicals and your widest programming. Desperation and impulsivity take center stage, so you can see your worst, then safely recover from it, artfully proving to yourself that you could. Eventually, you will glimpse a path of least resistance and bolt.
There is no promise that you will end up in a good place. Your fixations, compulsions, addictions, and obsessions can lead you very astray if you aren’t listening to yourself and in alignment. Many people have been violently wrong or out of time. So just because you think you are right and it feels right, does not mean to get to be a wrecking ball. Patience is one of the hardest parts of knowledge.
There is solid reasoning behind why we grow best in distress with support when triggered, and waiting and time can be very triggering. The chemicals are there, your body brought them back to you for a reason. It is because you need them up there so you can grab them consciously and pull them to where you want them in the present. You are in command of the energy in your body, you just have to be sure that all of you is pulling in the right direction before you drown. But treading water is hard too. You also need to learn to float before you go home too.
shallow water over river rocks on the bank
Coming down is the safe return to shore, healing is learning to be in the water again, and thriving is bringing the water more problems to solve together because it can help you apply the right pressure once you know how to swim. Not symbolically, just factually. If you ignore these signs because you can't tell why it's happening you will increase entropy. The point of healing is walking away knowing how to use your system better than you ever have before. That is it.
You must explore to do that.
